Woodside_park Synagogue

7 Golden Rules for Getting a Get (Jewish Divorce)

by Deanna Levine, Co-author of Getting your Get at http://www.gettingyourget.co.uk



Introduction

A Get is a Jewish divorce document which dissolves the marriage of a Halachically Jewish couple, ie both are Jewish as recognised by an Orthodox Beth Din, a court of Jewish law. When a couple marry, there is a single ceremony which combines both the Jewish and civil marriage requirements. The civil law permits this. Should they divorce, however, two separate divorces are required: the civil one and the Get (Jewish divorce).

If there is no Get, but only a civil divorce, Orthodox Jewish law does not permit a couple to remarry under the auspices of the United Synagogue or under any other Orthodox auspices. The couple remain married for all Jewish purposes. For a religious remarriage to take place, the couple must have a Get in addition to the civil divorce. In Orthodox Jewish law the divorce is facilitated by the Beth Din. Orthodox Jewish law requires the couple to agree voluntarily to the Get - this is done by the husband granting the Get and the wife accepting it. This happens in a simple and dignified ceremony, to which a woman can be accompanied either by a family member, friend or a trained volunteer from the London Beth Din. If preferred, it's not necessary for the couple to meet each other at the Beth Din.

Critically, if a husband refuses to grant his wife a Get and she then goes on to have children by a different Jewish man, those children are mamzerim. A mamzer is a Jewish child whose status is religiously "illegitimate". A mamzer will suffer severe and tragic restrictions in later life. A mamzer, together with any descendants, cannot normally marry another Jew or Jewess, so every effort should be made to avoid inflicting this status on a child.

7 Golden Rules

  1. The Get should ideally be obtained before the civil divorce to avoid problems in the future, when it can be more difficult - and sometimes impossible - to obtain the Get. Although the couple cannot remarry until the civil divorce has been granted, obtaining the Get first avoids any problems which may arise during the civil divorce process.

  2. The solicitor should know about the Divorce (Religious Marriages) Act 2002. It is his or her professional duty to know about this law and to advise Jewish clients about it. This should be checked before someone decides to instruct the solicitor. Briefly, a person whose spouse is refusing to give/accept a Get can apply to the Court handling the civil divorce, for an Order preventing the Court making a Decree Absolute until such time as a Get has been given/accepted. It is therefore advisable to apply to the Beth Din for a Get well before the making of a Decree Nisi in the civil proceedings.

  3. The solicitor (Jewish or not) should know (or be told about) "Getting your Get" at http://www.gettingyourget.co.uk , as it contains lots of information for lawyers - as well as for individuals seeking a divorce. It is a known fact that it is hugely helpful when used.

  4. Contact should be made with the Beth Din early on in the process. This can be done either by the husband or wife, jointly by the husband and wife or with the help of the solicitor. If the solicitor does not wish to help, a different solicitor should be found.

  5. The Get can be obtained before the civil proceedings have even begun or while they are ongoing; as this can avoid lots of problems and saves the Get from becoming an issue in the civil divorce.

  6. If the Get cannot be obtained before or early on in the proceedings for the civil divorce, the solicitor should know how to build the Get into the negotiations regarding the house, finances, contact with the children, etc. If the solicitor does not know about this, a different solicitor should be found.

  7. The Get should be mentioned at the outset and then at every stage of the negotiations. If left til later or the end, it could lead to problems. As one individual said when she obtained the Get after reading "Getting your Get" at http://www.gettingyourget.co.uk , "I had to nudge my solicitor to mention the Get in all the early correspondence, even if it was apparently irrelevant to the particular matter in hand - just to keep the Get issue live."

If these golden rules are followed, all the problems about the Get which we hear about should be avoided.


Further information

Further information may be obtained from the widely acclaimed e-book, "Getting your Get" at http://www.gettingyourget.co.uk , where there is also a link to a short 3 part video interview, in which Deanna Levine is interviewed by a TV correspondent.

"Getting your Get" explains just about everything that anyone needs to know about the Get process and explains how the civil law can be used to assist when one spouse is not co-operating with obtaining the Get. It includes information and guidance for solicitors and other advisers. There are lists of solicitors who have indicated that they practise family law and take Get issues into account, as well as lists of Orthodox Batei Din and useful organisations to contact. There is also an article specially written for rabbis, entitled "The Rabbi, the Divorcing Congregant and the Get." A Rabbi is of course in a prime position to assist a divorcing congregant with obtaining a Get and the article suggests additional ways in which such an individual might be supported by our spiritual leaders.


See part 1 of a 3 part Video series of Deanna Levine being interviewed


For parts 2 and 3 please visit the "Getting your Get" website.This gives vital information for those who are divorcing when they need not just the civil divorce, but also the Jewish divorce, the Get.


DEANNA LEVINE MA LLB NP is a dually qualified Scottish and English Solicitor and Consultant to Barnett, Alexander Conway Ingram, Solicitors, London. She is Honorary Secretary of The United Kingdom Association of Jewish Lawyers and Jurists, represents B'nai B'rith UK on the Board of Deputies and is a member of the Board's Family Law Group. Co-author of Getting your Get at http://www.gettingyourget.co.uk , Deanna is also a Get Adviser with the Jewish Marriage Council, a member of Gettlink (an international forum for Agunah advisers). A member of the Society of Authors, she is a well published author and lectures widely to synagogues and other organisations, Jewish groups and lawyers about the Get and how the civil law can help. At Woodside Park Synagogue Deanna chairs the Get Information Group, which provides assistance in confidence to divorcing members.