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The Y behind the traditions -The Jewish Marriage

This article has been written by Rabbi Hackenbroch to explain the "Y" behind the traditions of a jewish marriage.

Identical Names

For some it is customary that one does not marry a woman whose name is the same as his mother's name or whose fathers has the same name as he does. The idea behind this is that fifth of the ten commandments is honouring ones parents. One is meant to revere them so much so that at least once a day one would stand up when they enter the room and would avoid sitting in ones parents seat out of respect. In addition out of honour and respect we would never call our parents by their first names. Therefore out of reverence to ones parents some have the custom not to marry someone with the same name lest it lead them to using their parents name in their presence which would be disrespectful.


The Vort

The vort is another name for the engagement party. In days gone by it was common place to actually sign "tenaim" a written contract of marriage. Nowadays most people just have a lechayim but more and more are choosing to reintroduce the ancient tradition of breaking a plate. This parallels the breaking of a glass under the chuppah to recall the destruction of the temple. In addition it symbolizes the bond between the couple "just as this plate will never again be whole, so also this couple shall not be separated from each other".


An Aliya to the Torah

Some follow the practice of calling a bridegroom twice to the Torah. Once on the shabbos preceding the wedding and again on the shabbos following the wedding. The reason for this tradition is that a bridegroom is compared to a king. Just as a king was obligated to write two Torah scrolls so is a bridegroom called up twice to the Torah.


The Fast of Groom and Bride

It is customary says the Rema for the groom and bride to fast on the day of their wedding. The day of the wedding has the status of Yom Kippur when their transgressions are forgiven. However they only have to fast from sunrise until the time of the chuppah.


New Program for Newlyweds

The United Synagogue has launched a New Series for Newlyweds. To find out more please click here to go to the United Synagogue News Page.